Reflection Deception

I look in the mirror but I don’t see you
I see the truth in my disguise
sniggering silver fragments of reflection
stabbing the pleas of acceptance lifting the veil of hope
laughing a sticky cough at my desires
screaming “you’re a fool, nobody really cares about you, they lie because its funny to watch you fall”
when a tear of belief spills a whisper comes
you know I’m right, you know they lie, you know they pity, you know they haven’t chosen you, you know they never will, you know you’re not worth it, you know you’re disgusting. Pray tell why are you even bothering? You know you can’t do it much longer”

seeking the truth in the now
bubbles of blood droop from open flesh
vomit encrusted hair shadows the face
twisted bones in a contorted body face down in a ditch
this is your destiny, you know I’m right”
a silent scream permeates as I stab her away
YOU ARE NOT RIGHT (she shrivels to crumpled paper)… I hope (she stands again in the distance)
I pull the veil of smiles onto my face while she is weak.

I don’t know if I’ll ever defeat my need or masks
what I do know is I’m fucking trying.

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