I dreamt I was dancing alone in the dark
floating in the silky scales of solace.
I was allowed to be all I could feel
free from the time once past and
fates to come.
He is whistling me a smooth tune
a setting song from the dusty moon.
Ribbons of sound curling from his lips
whispering to my skin, begging to let it in.
Wrapped in the delicate steam of his voice
Parting my lips I gulped in his will.
His invincible thrum soaked into me
filling up on the delectable elixir
a new light seeps through
with a flash of electricity
it is done.
A simple seed of hate planted in me
rooted itself firmly in my being
watered it with every beat of my heart
its gained strength through time
no longer a simple seed
but a forest.
With a canopy so dense with pain
little light can get through
nothing grows there but dead trees
grey crumbling skins, twisted contorted limbs
pulsing with sin.
There’s a darkness in me so vast
and yet shielded with another thought.
What if I can do this.
Living in hope for the day I can chop it down
rip up the roots
plant a new seed.
A seed of love
I can’t wake up from my nightmare charading as a dream
a perfect scene of a lovers quest to seem
and propose the ideal theme
of a time stood alone in defeat that he is here to rescue me
for you see it was but a dream
that he was there to set me free
a promise made with sand
it fell through an open hand
yet I feat
I think I wake
only to find I am still in the seat
a throne of glass hearts
I look in the mirror but I don’t see you
I see the truth in my disguise
sniggering silver fragments of reflection
stabbing the pleas of acceptance lifting the veil of hope
laughing a sticky cough at my desires
screaming “you’re a fool, nobody really cares about you, they lie because its funny to watch you fall”
when a tear of belief spills a whisper comes
“you know I’m right, you know they lie, you know they pity, you know they haven’t chosen you, you know they never will, you know you’re not worth it, you know you’re disgusting. Pray tell why are you even bothering? You know you can’t do it much longer”
seeking the truth in the now
bubbles of blood droop from open flesh
vomit encrusted hair shadows the face
twisted bones in a contorted body face down in a ditch
“this is your destiny, you know I’m right”
a silent scream permeates as I stab her away
YOU ARE NOT RIGHT (she shrivels to crumpled paper)… I hope (she stands again in the distance)
I pull the veil of smiles onto my face while she is weak.
I don’t know if I’ll ever defeat my need or masks
what I do know is I’m fucking trying.
Does a droplet of rain taste sweeter if kissed straight from a rose?
I cannot find my fate.
I dreamt a bee told me I had to see to be free
I thought I saw a leaf talk but it was just a whimper
I felt I could trust the sea but it was a cruel mispleasure
I hung onto every word you said little bee but I was yet to see
shifting spaces of a love on scene
only one knowing what could’ve been
love love love it is not our dove
fickle fucks conceiving above
bruising kisses and rotting shores
engorging our once empty cores
credence is in our loves name
obedience is in its game